Let’s clear some things up about single moms: They’re not desperately lonely, they’re not living off their ex’s dime, and sorry, but they aren’t dying to date just anyone.
Below, HuffPost Divorce bloggers and readers on Facebook share these and a few other frustrating misconceptions about single motherhood. Please take notes.
1. “People say, ‘I could never do what you do.’ Really? What other option is there? You just do what is right for your kids, no matter what.” — Alissa Aske
2. “Worst misconception? That a single mom exists for the sole purpose of finding and ‘trapping’ a good man to help raise her kids. Contrary to popular belief, single moms aren’t perpetually lonely and unfulfilled.” — Debbie Burgin
3. “People assume your dreams have to end when you become a single parent. Nope. Now more than ever I am determined to live an existence that doesn’t include any deferred dreams. I want the same for my daughter.” — Shanita Hubbard
5. “That we’re horny for anyone: I understand that some single parents are lonely. I am alone, but not lonely. There’s a big difference. Would it be amazing if I met someone of quality who was also a baller in the bedroom? Yes, it would be, but so far that hasn’t happened. Just because I am a single mom, doesn’t mean I am hard up for any old guy to have sex with me. There are adult toys out there — don’t think we’re dying for you to rock our world out of desperation.” –– Laura Lifshitz
6. “That I am looking for someone to ‘save me.’ I am good, thanks. And my children have a father so we’re not looking for another one. What I do want? Someone with self-respect and self-esteem to enjoy my down time with.” — Elena Flathman Kupka
7. “People often assumed that I hated my children’s father. They would go out of their way to try to say something negative about him in front of me (even if they didn’t know him), as if that was a way of proving their loyalty to me. Just because I made the decision that it was healthier for me to leave my marriage, doesn’t mean that I hate my ex or wish him ill. Quite the opposite. I wish him well. He’s my kids’ father.” — Kristina Kuzmic
9. “People think that because I’m a single mother, they need to watch me around their husbands because my goal is seducing married men. My marriage was ruined by infidelity; there is nothing that turns me off and bothers me more than an unfaithful man or woman. I don’t want your husband.” — Leah Dillon
10. “That we think all our friends should get divorced, too, like it’s some sort of club.” — Annette Aviles
11. “That we just gave up on marriage capriciously. Simple not true.” — Jenna Clark
12. “People believe that single moms don’t have a life. I don’t have the same life I had before having a baby, but that’s true for any parent. Instead of happy hours and hot dates, I have nap hours and mom dates — and I’m not mad about it. It takes a little creativity but I still get to do the things that make me happy, just like married moms.” — Nikki Stephens
14. “Not all single moms are out looking for a sugar daddy or taking advantage of alimony from their ex-husband. In reality, we are working full-time jobs, finishing degrees, establishing new routines and creating stability for our children. We are learning to navigate through new waters and while it can be the hardest thing one can go through, we also find a strength in ourselves we never knew existed.” — Jessica Hoefer Land
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