Note to Self. Never Hire a Hot Nanny.

I don’t follow Hollywood gossip at all but while shopping for toilet paper and cat food, I couldn’t escape the supermarket tabloids with the huge front pages screaming the news that Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner are splitting. It’s sad to hear that another family has to go through the heartbreak and upheaval that a breakup and divorce can bring. The reason for the divorce? Supposedly, he’s been having a fling with their hot nanny.

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Now, I’m not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but didn’t anyone pay attention during the too-numerous-to-count nanny scandals of recent years? Shouldn’t you not hire a hot young nanny?

I didn’t even have to Google it and came up with a few accounts of transgressions with the help. Let’s just recall a few nanny scandals from years past:

Arnold, Jude Law, Ethan Hawke.

And now supposedly Gwen Stefani’s husband Gavin Rossdale has been entertaining the help.

I don’t know about you, but the nanny I’d hire? Mrs. Doubtfire.

She makes tea. She bakes. She can kick the hell out of a soccer ball. Plus she has five o’clock shadow, which might help some husbands stay off the nanny.

I’m not blaming the wives for these men’s transgressions. I’m not saying it’s their fault for hiring an attractive woman-AT ALL.

But I’m weak when it comes to desserts and so I don’t bring ice cream into the house because I know I’d eat it all. I don’t have the willpower to not eat the whole damned carton.

Likewise, if you know that your husband has a weakness for the ladies, don’t hire a hot twenty something to mind the kids.

Here’s my criteria if I were hiring a nanny. It’s very simple.

I’d never hire a nanny who looks better in a bikini than I do. Or any woman who has a six pack (that rule doesn’t include anyone who brings a six pack to my house, a six pack of Bud Light is always welcome).

That might not make prevent a nanny mishap, but it might not make it too easy for him. I wouldn’t help him out by hiring hot help.

What about you? Would you hire a really attractive nanny to care for your kids?

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